AUTHOR = curious2c
E-MAIL = drett60@yahoo.com
| EDITOR's NOTE - Part one of this story can be found at: Part 1. |
"Jessica is still in town. She is working for the same outfit. Doesn't look too good though. I think she was really broken up over your divorce, Tony."
"Don't care, Ted, I just don't give a damn. I hope she rots in hell for what she did to me. She is just a slut. A huge fucking whore."
"Why don't you tell me how you really feel, Tony?"
"Very funny, Ted. I don't want to talk about my ex-whore-wife."
"She talks about you. She always said that she is the reason she and you broke up. She has said it time and again. She knows that she blew it big time. Did you know that she was tricked and forced into doing whatever it is that caused you two to break up?"
"Don't know, don't care. Drop the subject, Ted, or I will just leave. You have been a good friend; don't blow it over a two-bit whore who couldn't keep her legs closed for a bunch of men. Just drop the subject. NOW."
"OK, OK, I just thought that you would want to know that she hasn't dated or anything since you two broke up. She really feels bad about what happened and I think she is slowly dying because of it, Tony. She is really looking poorly."
"Yeah Ted, used up whores do look poorly. All the fucking and sucking they do instead of loving their husbands and being faithful is what causes that shit. I could care less about that slut. She ruined my love and my life for one night of fun. She can go straight to hell as far as I care. I'm leaving. Goodbye Ted, been nice talking to you, until right now."
I went back to my hotel room and packed my things. The nerve of that bastard. To try and make me feel something for that bitch. She had ruined our marriage, not me. I had been the faithful one. I had loved her unconditionally. She had fucked around and fucked up things. NOT ME. Damn-it. Now I was upset again. I had been over her and Ted had drummed up old pains.
I went to bed that night and tossed and turned for hours. In the morning I looked like shit. I called and rescheduled my appointment for the next day and went for a walk. I ended up in a park where Jess and I used to meet for lunch sometimes. I wandered around and finally sat down near the table where we had eaten several times.
As I sat there I remembered better times. I remembered how she had looked and loved. How she had always known my moods and been able to change a bad one in a matter of seconds. She had known me better than I knew myself. Why... Why had she done this to us? Excitement? A need for danger? Had I been too boring? What?
I sat there thinking and then noticed a lady walking up the walk. Her head was in a scarf and she looked very thin. Her legs, the parts that weren't covered by her dress, were just skin and bone. I didn't recognize her at first, and then it came to me. Jessica, it was Jessica. As I watched, she went over to "our" table and sat down.
I moved in a little bit closer. I could hear her talking to herself. She was not aware that I was standing nearby.
"I miss you Tony. I wish I could have taken that night away. I really do. I have only ever loved you and now you are gone."
She didn't even know I was there. She was just sitting there talking to herself. I listened as she went on and on about that night and how she had been maneuvered into breaking her marriage vows. How they had then used her as a fuck toy, then as a gangbang queen.
She almost sounded deranged as she sat there talking and I noticed that people would veer away as they neared the table only to go back on the path after getting around her. She had been doing this for some time evidently, and people were avoiding her like the plague.
She was still talking and I heard her start over. I just listened to her, trying to find out why, why she had done what she had done. I was in for a big shock.
"I knew that he was trouble. I had even told you, Tony. We met and he had me out to dinner. He told me that the others would be there. When I got there he was alone. He said they were running late. I sat down and we ordered. I should have seen that I was set up right there."
She mumbled a bit then started again. I had heard enough to know that something had happened at this meeting, and it was the night before "that" night.
"I knew he was setting me up for something. I didn't realize that he had drugged my drink until it was too late. I felt so free and horny. He would suggest something and I would do it, like I had no mind of my own. When we left we went to a motel, where he got me undressed and fucked me. I sucked him and he came in my mouth. He even took me anally. What I didn't know was that he had filmed the whole thing. When I saw it the next morning I was sickened. I knew that if you found out, Tony, I was dead meat."
So, she hadn't been lying. It had been the first time and he had drugged her into sex, and then filmed it to blackmail her. The fucking bastard. I should have cut his nuts off or something. I now almost wished that I had tried to find out more before cutting loose from Jess like I had.
"Then the next night he had "friends" over and I had to perform for them. They had me three at a time for three hours and by the time they were done I was so hot to fuck I would have done a horse if he had asked me to. I then went and showed my love, my one best friend in life how much of a whore he had married. I still can't believe that I fucked all of those men. I can't believe how stretched out my ass and pussy were afterwards. God, what I would give to be able to go back and stop it from happening."
As I listened to my ex-wife talk to herself I realized that my heart was beating rapidly. I was sweating and my hands were shaking like crazy. I was feeling so weird. I got up and walked up behind Jess.
"If only you were here, Tony, so that I could explain this all to you. I never had cheated before, and I had been drugged and blackmailed into doing what I did. I know why you left me. It must have looked like I was really enjoying the whole gangbang. I was so fucked up I could hardly walk, let alone dance. If I had known you were there I would have run away and hoped that I could explain everything to you before you had found out. Instead you saw my acting like a whore for all of those men. If only you were here so that I could try to explain now."
"I am here Jessica. I am ready to listen to you."
She didn't look around. She sat there and was very still.
"I'm right behind you, Jess. You can tell me now. I will listen to what you have to say. I won't make any promises, but I will listen to you now. I wished that I had listened to you years ago."
She stood up and slowly turned around. Her eyes were brimming with tears. She looked at me then quickly sat down. Her legs had failed her; I thought she was going to pass out.
"Is it really you, Tony? I can't believe that you are standing there. Oh GOD, if you only knew how much I have prayed for this moment. Now I can't even think straight. I had a whole speech in my mind to tell you. I wanted you to know how everything happened. I have really missed you, Tony. So much that I think I have been a little 'off'."
"Jessica, I should have let you try to explain things a long, long time ago. I should have known that you wouldn't willingly have done those things without being drugged or something. I was too upset and angry to listen to you then. I am more able to listen now though so, if you want, go ahead and tell me what you need to."
"Oh Tony, you must have heard me talking to myself. You should know then that I was drugged and taken advantage of. He filmed it all and then the next night he made me perform for his friends. Afterwards they drugged me again and took me to the club where you saw me get gangbanged. I know that it looked like I was begging for it, but it was the drugs that caused me to do that. I couldn't even think straight. My pussy was burning up, needing to get fucked and I couldn't help myself. His drug was very good at gaining compliance. I had to please him and his friends the way I did. I had no choice, no will, just a big horny pussy wanting to get fucked. I am so sorry. So terribly sorry, Tony. I hurt you so deeply and in such a hideous way. I can't even bring myself to ask you to forgive me, I acted so horridly."
She was crying hard now. I got out my handkerchief and gave it to her. She took it and, as she did, her hand lingered on mine. It was just a light touch, but it was like an electric current passed through us both. The next thing I knew I was hugging her tightly to me. I didn't say anything, I just held her to me.
A kid ran up and started to talk to me.
"Hey mister, watch out, she is a crazy old lady. She talks to herself and acts really strange. You better just leave her alone and let her go away. She might kill you or something."
I just held her.
"Go away you little shit. I know her and she is upset. She is not crazy, as you put it, so just go away."
He ran off. I knew he must have thought that I was just as crazy as her. Jess was sobbing and now holding me tightly. Her body was so thin. I could feel bones and ribs instead of muscle and flesh. She had lost a lot of weight. Way too much weight to be good or healthy. She noticed me feeling her.
"I have lost a little weight, Tony. I weigh about ninety-three pounds now. I haven't been able to eat since that night you left me in the club. I can only eat a little bit at a time, too much and I throw it up."
"Jess, you need to take better care of yourself. You are starving yourself to death."
"Life without you is death, Tony. I can't live by myself, and without you in my life there is nothing to live for anyway."
"I won't promise anything, Jess. We can talk. You can tell me what you want or need to. I am in town for a few more days yet. I just have to be honest with you. I have a lot of anger towards you and the whole thing. Please bear that in mind. I may not be the best listener at times, but I promise to at least listen to you."
We talked for several hours. Later we had dinner together. I wished that I could say Jess ate well, but she was down to a point where a very little filled her up. I found out that her work had suffered, and she had been passed over for several promotions. She felt that they were about to fire her, but so far they had been pretty good to her. Her health was poor and her attitude had suffered greatly. She needed rest and caring for.
"After I got home and you kicked me out, I went to a friend's place. She let me stay there up until she found out what I had done to you, to us. I then had to get my own place. She still isn't talking to me and I thought she was a true friend."
"Maybe she was afraid that if you were around she would get sucked into your lifestyle, Jess. You have to admit, most women wouldn't do what you had done with so many men."
"Yeah, I guess so. One day, about a month after you kicked me out, he came into town. He said that I was going to be the entertainment at a party for him. I refused and kicked him in the nuts. I told him I had no reason to do what he wanted now, so he could go be the 'entertainment' himself. He hasn't bothered me since."
"You kicked him in the nuts? What about your boss? What did he say when the jerk pulled his contracts?"
"They didn't. He was fired after he got back. I told my boss why I had done what I had done, and he called up the company the bastard worked for and got him fired. They still do business with us."
"How have you been doing since? I see you haven't been eating right, and don't look too well."
"Oh Tony, I have been so depressed. I just go through the motions of work and life. I go to the park and 'talk' to you, trying to get over it, but I can't escape the damage done. People have started to stay away from me, except for a few of your friends. They talk to me and keep an eye on me. They don't try anything sexual; they think that some day you will come back for me. I just can't bring myself to tell them why you left me. They know that I cheated on you, not that it was with a large group of men in one long night."
"Jess, I am in town for work only. My seeing you was a coincidence. I am not going to lead you on and say anything about 'us'. I am not sure there can ever be an 'us' again. Sorry."
Jess had tears in her eyes. I felt like shit for being so, well, mean to her. I was still angry. The images of her being gang-fucked in that club that night was still fresh in my mind. I still got that lost feeling of betrayal every once in a while. It upset me to know that Jess had been drugged and forced to go along with the whole thing, but I hadn't found this out until right now.
We parted that day talking and had a "date" of sorts to meet the next day after she got off work. It was to be a dinner date to talk and just see what was going on in each other's life. I had no intentions of trying to get back with her, and she knew that. It was more like old friends having lunch than lovers on a date.
After our "date" I took Jess to her place. It was in a dumpy neighborhood, and it wasn't a great home either. She kept it clean, but there was no "home" touch. It was very impersonal and almost cold feeling. Jess showed me in and made up some coffee as I sat on her couch. We talked for about four hours that night, sitting in her apartment. I didn't try to touch her, and she didn't ask or make any gestures to encourage me.
I had two meetings the next day and after they were done I went to Jess's work. We went for a walk and talked about things in general. She was curious how I was doing in Oregon. She couldn't believe that I had moved so far away just because of her. I think she was sad because my being so far away meant that there would be little chance of us seeing each other as much as she wanted.
As I flew home the following day I had feelings running through me that hadn't been around for quite some time. I knew that deep down I still loved Jessica and that I wanted to be with her again. I just couldn't get past the visions of that night. I threw myself into my work for the next month and got fortunate with getting new clients doing business with us. My boss, who also owned the company, gave me two weeks off and, as a bonus, tickets to anywhere I wanted to fly to. Hotel room and food included.
After some thought, I decided to go back and visit Jess and my old friends again. My boss knew that something was on my mind and the night before I left he had me over to dinner with his wife and kids. They were a nice family, and he was justifiably proud of them. After dinner he took me out to his woodshop and we had a "talk".
"Tony, you have had something on your mind for a quite awhile. I have noticed that ever since you came back from back east you have been nose to the grindstone. I appreciate the extra effort, but I don't want you to work yourself to death or into the hospital for this company or me. What's up? What is it that is driving you so hard?"
"James, you are a great boss and a good friend. I have some issues with a person back east, and I don't think that it is really any of your business. I appreciate your concern, but I can't tell you."
"Hey man, I love you like a brother. You have been the best negotiator I have ever had, and you get contracts signed without problems later on. I need to know only because I see you headed for a burnout and I can't let that happen. In this case your personal life is my business."
I knew that James was serious. I could see that I was going to have to tell him something, so I began with my story. He looked shocked for a moment when I finished. He was lost in thought for a bit then started asking me questions.
"Do you still love her?"
"Yes, I think so. I think I also hate her at the same time too."
"Understandable. She broke your trust in a very public and hurtful way. I can't imagine how that would feel. To see your love taken in such a way. The hate part is also a normal feeling. That you are having this feeling so long after the fact is not good though. Are you going back east to see her? To talk to her and try to work it out or what?"
"I don't know, James. I honestly do not know why I am going back to see her. I am worried about her health. I guess I also want to talk to her. She was my best friend back then. There were no secrets from her on my part. I told her everything. I don't know what I want now."
"Tony, think about it. In your heart, deep down, in that place that you let nobody see, do you still love her as much as you did before it all happened?"
I thought about it for a few minutes. James let me think and just looked off at something hanging on the wall. I had fleeting thoughts of just making up some cock and bull story and leaving, but I knew that James was worried about me as a person as much as an employee. I had to tell him the truth. I guess I had to admit it to myself too. I had been running away from my own truth for the last two years or more.
"Yeah, I guess I do still love her like that, James. It's so fucked up though. She still loves me; anyway that is what she says. She looks like hell. Her weight loss is borderline suicidal. I just don't know what I can do, or want to do. I can't get over that night in the club. It was raw and the memories of her laying there, they still run a hot sword through my heart."
"Tony, you need to forgive her, and while you are at it forgive yourself. You are feeling guilt now because you kicked her out without hearing her side of the story. She had a plausible reason for her acts and she evidently had no way out until it was too late. She didn't do it on purpose or to hurt you. She was drugged, then forced to 'perform' for that asshole. She had no choice in what happened to her. For all practical purposes she was raped that night."
I broke down and started to cry. I had known this all along. I had known that Jess wouldn't have done something like that for fun or pleasure. I had always known that she must have been drugged or something. It hurt for me to admit this now. I had kept it inside for too long.
"Tony, just take it easy, I'll get a washcloth for you, bud.
As James left to get the cloth I realized that I was crying like a baby. I had broken down in front of my boss over something that had happened in my life so long ago. He came back in and handed me the warm, wet cloth. I dabbed my eyes and face with it and regained control of myself.
"Sorry James. Don't know what came over me there."
"Don't be sorry, Tony. I think you need to get to that Jessica and start over with her as soon as possible. You have let this run your life for too long. You need to take your life back and run it your way now. I also think that Jessica is part of that life. A big part of that life. I may be wrong, but you two should be together as man and wife. You two are a type of rare people, you should be together, not apart. You were meant to be together."
"I don't know, I just don't know. There has been so much happen since then."
"Tony, I have been married for twenty years, not all of it real good. Most of it has been great. I still wouldn't trade even the bad times for someone else. I love my wife, and I think that you still love Jessica. You kids had a real bad experience happen to you, and it is time to put it behind you and get back together. You need her as much as she needs you."
"OK, I will go and talk to her. I can't promise anything, James."
"Tony, don't go there for me. You need to go there for you, and her. I am not going to stand by and watch my best salesman run himself into the ground when I could have done something to prevent it. I have watched you with your dates in the past. Your heart is still with your ex-wife, buddy. You are still in love with her. Even after all of this, you still love her. Those other women never had a rat's chance in hell of getting into your heart because Jessica is still there."
As soon as he said that I knew it to be true. I had deep down wanted Jess to try harder to keep me; it was as though she had given up without a fight. I had left thinking she wanted it this way that I wasn't worth fighting for. I knew that James had brought it to my attention in such a way the conclusion was inescapable. I still loved my ex-wife. No matter what, that one fact was never going to change.
I was now prepared to fight for her. I was going to try and put this all behind me and go get my wife back. I loved Jess and I knew now, what had been eluding me all this time, I still deeply loved my wife.
The next morning found me on the plane headed for an unknown, possibly painful time. Would Jess still love me? Would she be willing to give up her job and move west with me? Would she even believe me when I told her I still loved her?
My only hope was that James had seen in me the total truth of my beliefs and needs. That he had wisely steered me onto the proper course for Jess and myself.
I waited for Jess at her place. I stood and squatted by her door for three hours, until she came into the building and came upstairs. As she walked down the hall she saw me standing there.
"Tony! What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"
"Jessica, the only thing wrong is my stubbornness and stupidity. I still love you and I have discovered that I can't live without you anymore. We used to love each other so much and I have had it pointed out to me just lately that I still do love you as much as I did before. That same person told me I was a total idiot if I let you go."
Jess stood there in front of me with her mouth wide open. The look of disbelief was undeniably there. She must have been thinking that I was going to do something cruel to her to get even. I could see it in her eyes. She didn't believe me at all.
"Jess, please believe me. I mean every word I am saying to you right now. I have always loved you, with all of my heart. Even after that... even since that night when... Oh GOD JESS. I love you. Can't you see that? I know that you still must love me. Please say you still love me."
Jess had opened her door and walked in. She turned and looked at me for a moment. Then I saw her make a decision.
"Why don't you come in, Tony? We need to talk quite a bit. I can't talk to you in the hallway about this. I need to sit down."
For the first time I saw tears welling up in her eyes. She was on the verge of crying. I was not sure if this was a good sign or not. I hoped that it was, but I just couldn't tell for sure.
She walked in front of me keeping her back to me. She dropped her stuff on the chair by the phone and went into her kitchen. I stood in the short hallway waiting.
I heard her moving around in her kitchen and soon I smelled coffee brewing. She went into her bedroom and closed the door. After a bit she came out. I was still standing by the door, afraid to do anything. I was afraid that she was going to send me away.
"Why don't you take off your coat and come sit in the kitchen, Tony? I have coffee ready."
Her quietness had now unnerved me. This wasn't what I had expected for a reaction. I had thought she would jump into my arms and be so happy. Instead she was asking me to sit and drink coffee in her kitchen.
I dropped my coat in the same chair she had dropped her stuff into and went into the kitchen. I sat down and waited. She was keeping her back to me as she poured the coffee into the mug. I looked down at my scuffed up shoes and heard her place the mug down in front of me. I looked up but her back was still to me.
"Why Tony? Why the change of heart? You are saying that you still love me, but why the change?"
"Oh Jess, I have been a fool. I have let stupid pride and my pain get in the way of how I truly felt. James, my boss in Oregon, well, he talked to me and made me realize that I still loved you. He said that we belonged together. We were a pair that was meant to be as one. I believe him, Jess. I hope you still love me."
"Tony, is this some kind of plan you cooked up to get even with me? Get me to feel safe and loved just before you dump me? I can't believe that after all this time, and the things you said to me, you would still love me like that."
"Jess, please! I do still love you. I really mean it. I have never stopped loving you. I want to be with you again. I will do anything to be together with you again."
I began to realize that perhaps this had not been a good idea. I should have waited and been more patient. I should have "crept" back into her heart. I was afraid that I was going to chase her away now.
"Tony, I acted like a slut. I was drugged, of course, but still I was a slut. You saw me at my worst. Then you kicked me out of your life. I deserved that, you know. You say you still love me. Prove it."
How the hell was I supposed to prove that I still loved her? Christ, this was not turning out like I had thought it would at all. Why was she being so distant now of all times?
"Jess, I don't know how to prove my love for you. I called you some terrible things years ago. I even got mad at my friend when he started to talk about you the last time I was here. I just don't know how to prove to you that I still love you, baby. What will it take? Help me out here please?"
"Tony, two and a half years ago I was in a position that no wife should ever be in. I was drugged, then forced to put out for that man and then his friends. I was used as a cum dump in that club afterwards, where you saw everything. When I tried to explain, you kicked me out and left me alone to fend for myself. You never listened to anything I was trying to tell you. Until now. I don't think I can go back to 'us' again. What happened to me was bad enough; I don't want to relive it all over again every time we would have a fight. I couldn't take being back with you and then getting dumped again because of bad memories."
Jess was crying hard now. I felt her wariness and the edge of her fears. It left me cold. I had imagined that she would be so happy and throw herself into my arms. I had never understood her pain. I had never thought how she would feel about the way I cut her out of my life. I had been hard and cold towards her.
I thought for a minute and then I decided that I had nothing to lose, other than the whole game, so I brought out my thoughts and my life for the past two years.
"Jess, I have been living in Oregon, alone. I have dated a few women, but there has never been a spark or even a hint of the type of love we shared as a husband and wife. I have been searching my soul for answers the entire time and I haven't found a replacement for you. I should have listened to you before I so coldly threw you out that night. I should have talked to you and we might have been able to work it out then. Instead I took the supposed moral high ground. I acted like the wronged husband of a cheating wife. In my anger I never thought about you or your feelings on anything."
"You dated some others? Did you have sex with them too?"
"Oh Jess, I wish that I could say I didn't, but I did. Yes, I had sex with several of the women I dated. Like I said before, though, there was no spark, no fire, and no love. I haven't dated since last June, quite some time ago now."
"You say you still love me. What about those men who had me, what about your memories of that night? I love you still Tony, but I can't go live with you and start all over if every time we have an argument or little tiff you would throw that in my face. What happened to me was wrong and I should have been wise enough to put a stop to it before it went as far as it did. I would never cheat on you again but how would I prove that to you?"
"Are you saying that there is no chance for us now, Jess? Are you afraid of me to the point of not even trying to get back together? I can't say I won't act like you are afraid of. I am just a man who is trying to get his life back together. You are a large part of that life. Without you... I... please Jess, give me one chance?"
"Tony, this will take some time. I can't just flop over and neither can you I imagine. We will need some time to repair the bridges burned in our parting."
"How much time, Jess? How long? I'm willing to wait and work towards this slowly, but I do live in another state now. Long distance relationships are difficult in the best of circumstances. With this hanging over our heads it would be almost impossible. Besides, I have already lost two and a half years with you Jess, two and a half years of togetherness we should have had."
I ended up in my hotel room that night wondering why I had ever thought this would be simply a matter of my showing up, taking her in my arms and sweeping her off of her feet and back into my life again. It had been a childish dream.
I almost gave up then and there. I went to bed at ten thinking of grabbing the next flight to Oregon and giving it all up. About midnight James called. He wanted to know how it had gone so far. I told him. He told me to hang in there. Jess would be worth it in the long run. For the second time in a month I wisely took his advice to heart.
The next morning I was up at dawn. I showered and got dressed. It was a Saturday so, knowing Jess had the day off, I headed over to her place. I got there at about seven and knocked on her door. After a bit she opened it up. She looked like I had woke her up and I was apologizing immediately.
"It's all right Tony. I was just getting up anyway. Why are you here so early?"
"I thought you would like to go out with me. We could take a drive to that park and then take a long walk together. If you want to that is."
"You should give a girl a bit of a heads up. No wonder your dating has been so bad. Did you just show up on their doorsteps at dawn asking them out too?"
"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I will leave and call you in a while. Sorry I bothered you Jess."
Before she could reply I turned and left. I was almost running. I had messed up thinking she would drop everything and go out with me after such a long time apart. What had I been thinking?
I vaguely remember her saying something to me as I hit the stairs. I just kept going, embarrassed and somewhat hurt at her reaction. I thought that she still wanted me but she was making this so damn hard.
I walked around until just before noon. I found a phone and called her place. Jess answered on the first ring.
"Hello?"
"Hi Jess, it's me. Uh, would you like to go for a drive or something?"
"Tony, why did you run away? I was just teasing. You never gave me a chance to let you off the hook. Look, you need to come over and we need to talk some more. Obviously we have some serious problems coming between us."
"OK. I will be right over. About ten minutes."
I hung up. I was mad at myself. What in the hell was wrong with me? She had been teasing and I had missed it completely. What a way to try and start over again.
I got to her place and started to knock. Her door slammed open and Jess reached out and grabbed me with surprising strength. She hauled me into her apartment and slammed me up against the wall. She held me there for a moment before speaking. Her hair was wildly sprayed all over and she was breathing hard as she held me against the wall.
She reached out with her free hand and closed her door. After a second or two she let loose of me and stepped back.
"Over there. SIT."
She pointed to the couch. I went over and sat down. I was stunned at her actions, to the point of being docile. I wasn't afraid, just stunned. She had never in all the time I had known her done something like that to me. I kind of liked it. It was like she was an Amazon woman or something. It was sexy in its own way.
"Tell me what the hell you are thinking right now. DO NOT hold anything back, Tony."
"Uh, OK. You are about the sexiest thing I have ever seen. The way you grabbed me and pulled me into this place really surprised me. I didn't know you were so strong. It kinda turned me on a bit too."
"That is a little too much, Tony. I meant what are you thinking about us?"
"Oh. Well Jess, I love you. I want to be with you forever. I don't want to live apart anymore. I want you to be my wife again, no exceptions. I can't... live... without... you."
She had been smiling as I blurted out the first part. Then as I started over and told her my true feelings I saw tears forming in her eyes. At the last part her tears fell noiselessly down her cheeks. I guess I had tears in my eyes too. Not a real manly thing, now is it?
We wept silently, facing each other. After a minute or so I wiped my eyes and dug some Kleenex out of a box on the table in front of the couch. Jess grabbed some too. We didn't say anything for quite a while, each lost in our own thoughts.
"Tony, I do want to try and start over. I do love you. I have missed you so much over the last two years."
"Jess, that is the only reason I am here now. I almost gave up last night, thinking that it was an impossible task to try and fit the pieces back together. James called me and reminded me that you were well worth fighting for."
"This James sounds like quite a man. I have to meet him some time."
"Yeah, he is about the best boss a person could want. He is also a good friend. He told me that he could see that I was still in love with you, Jess. He said it was our destiny to be together. I believe him. I love you so much still."
"Well, your place or mine?"
I was lost for a moment. What had she meant by that?
"Tony? Your place or mine? If we get back together, where are we going to live? Here or Oregon?"
"I uh... I hadn't thought of that. Where would you want to live, Jess? I like my job in Oregon and James is a great boss. If you want, though, I could move back here and get a job. Maybe even at my old job."
"You mean you flew all the way here to take me back as your wife and you never gave a single thought to where we would be living? What were you thinking? I may want to stay here and work at my job. Maybe I won't want to leave here. Did you ever think of that?"
I had done it again. Why couldn't this be any easier? Was everything going to be a battle? Would I ever get ahead and be on the ball with Jess?
"Jess, all I knew is that I wanted you back in my life. I never gave a thought to anything other than that. I figured that it would all work out in the end. Would you move with me to Oregon? Would you consider it?"
She was looking away, lost in thought. The way she was looking I couldn't tell anything. I kept silent, wisely, for the first time since this whole thing had started.
"I couldn't move to Oregon with you Tony."
"I'll quit and move here. I want to be with you Jess; I don't care where that is. I just want for us to be a couple again."
"You couldn't live here either, Tony."
What the hell was she doing? I had thought she wanted to be back together, and now she was saying I couldn't live with her. Was she toying with me and getting ready to dump me like I had dumped her? I really hoped not. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she dumped me now.
"Jess, please. Why won't you live with me? Are you afraid? I'll sign an agreement, a legal one. I'll do anything just to have you back with me."
"Yes you will, Tony. It will take a legal document for sure. I won't live with you until we have that 'agreement' in legalese, signed and dated."
"Ok, Jess, if that is what it takes, you can have it. I love you and just want to be with you. Where will we live? Should I quit my job?"
"Tony, you can't quit and run out on your friend James. After all, he is the reason we are getting back together. After we have both signed and had the agreement witnessed we will move to Oregon. As husband and wife. I want a marriage certificate before I go anywhere with you, Tony. I want to be married first."
"That is the agreement you wanted? You want to be married first? That's all? Let's go find a judge and I'll call my friends up, they can witness it...."
"It's Saturday, Tony, we will have to wait until Monday at the earliest. We could practice in the meantime. You know, the husband and wife things? Why don't we go get your things from the hotel and bring them here? You should get to know me a bit before we get married, don't you think? After all, I need to make sure you are fully functional, if you know what I mean."
I proved to Jess I was "fully functional" that whole weekend. We made up for lost time, although not all of it. That all happened several years ago. We are happily living in Oregon, raising our daughter. She looks just like her momma. Even has that same twinkle in her eyes.
My boss is getting on in years and last week he offered me his business. He wants to retire to his farm and make wooden toys for kids. He is pretty good at it, as little Jess will tell you. Her toy box is overflowing with great little toys.
Jess is pregnant with our second child, and she is so beautiful. She makes my heart thump every time I watch her get ready for bed. I have married the most sexy, beautiful, loving woman a man could want.
Looking back on it, I really miss those two years we were apart. I have come to terms with all that happened so long ago. Jess has too. I have never in the heat of an argument mentioned that night or anything about it. Jess came to realize that I really did love her then.
Our sex life? Well, of course that is none of your business, but I will tell you anyway. Jess found out she liked certain things and certain positions. She is a real tigress in bed, even more than before. I have a sexual goddess on my hands behind closed doors. Jess likes to remind me once in a while, all mine. Nobody else's. Just mine. I believe her, thoroughly. I'm quite happy with my life now. Quite happy.
THE END
